The Indian Engineer

The making of the Great Indian Engineer is not an easy task. It is a collaboration of many disciplined and restrained efforts. It involves patience, suspension of reason, lotsa money and a will made of an alloy of titanium and diamond. Although an Indian engineering grad will look normal to the outside world, there will be 10 centuries worth of wisdom and knowledge between his years. We are trained never to let the world know of our amazing abilities lest we be labelled as the definitive Indian geeks.

An Indian Engineer’s training to take on the world starts as soon as he enters the college premises for the first time. He is made to feel a false sense of security by the seniors until the parents accompanying them have left the college compound. Then he is given a lecture by his seniors on words he never knew existed – like ****** ***, ****** and even ******** – and rules are laid down, which each and every new student will inadvertently follow letter for letter. This is the first and (usually) only legitimate class that actually takes place for the next four years!

After that, everything else learned is through self discovery. Life governing Philosophies are learned step by step from “Thy toothpaste is thy entire hostel’s toothpaste” slowly making its way up to “Thy undergarment is thy neighbour’s undergarment”. Privacy, to an engineering student, is only something that can be had in the toilet, and that too separated by a thin, hole-ridden wooden (make-shift) door with negligible sound (and smell) proofing.

Classes occur rarely and when they do, except for a few uninitiated ‘day-scholars’ and an unfortunate professor, the class will be empty. The teachers serve little purpose other than to act as scarecrows to keep the children away from the staff rooms. Innocent love-birds are seen chirping at every nook and cranny of the college campus. Studies are non-existent for the entire length of each semester.

The only time he studies – and this is what sets an Indian Engineer widely apart from other kinds of engineers – is on the day before the final University Semester examinations. In fact, some engineers are gifted with an abundance of skill such that even this last minute studying is rendered redundant and needless. That being said, I have seen some of the brightest students in the world in these Indian engineering colleges. The way their brain absorbs information will put even a sponge to shame!

Nights in a hostel are all about partying. Walk through the corridor of an Engineering students hostel at night and you will inadvertently -> hear sounds of gunfire (Counter Strike), listen to loud and deriding wise-cracks, ‘clinging’ of paper-glasses accompanied with all involved students yelling “cheers!” and see different colored smoke as if the hostel was on fire or something. But you will also see one or two students sitting alone with their books not minding any of the distractions on offer as if they were some social outcasts.

But no matter what happens, when the 4 years of engineering are up, the ordinary Indian boy that went into the college will emerge as The Great Indian Engineer with companies ranging from Wipro or TCS to Yahoo! and AMD fighting over them. This is the story of The Indian Engineer.